Suddenly shy

Up until the age of 13 I was very extroverted and comfortable in social situations. Even though I was an aspie I didn’t have any problems fitting in. I lived in a small town and played sports so I was well known and liked. But that all changed when I turned 13 because puberty hit me like a ton of bricks. I was suddenly too shy and nervous to talk to girls. I still remember the anxiety I felt when I was trying to work up the courage to ask a pretty girl to dance at my first middle school dance. So suddenly I was a wuss who was afraid to talk to girls and to make matters worse i had to move to a new school midway through 6th grade. So now on top of my Aspergers I had to deal with raging hormones and a new environment. I did ok at my new school but didn’t really make any close friends and was still scared shitless of girls. Several girls tried to be friendly with me but I was so shy that I kind of shut down and they thought I was disinterested and left me alone. This would remain a serious problem for 5 more years. I didn’t officially ask a girl out on a date until I was 17,17!  Up until that point I didn’t even try to socialize with girls in real life. I had no idea that a condition called aspergers was the reason I had these troubles. Even though I would deal with extreme love shyness for 5 More years I quickly discovered an alternative way to talk to girls , the internet! I will be telling you about my online exploits in my next blog.


The joy of being an awkward aspie


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When you have Aspergers awkwardness is inevitable, it comes as naturally as breathing. It shows in your awkward facial expressions,body language, social awkwardness,and overall obliviousness to what’s going on in your immediate environment. Basically your social awareness is about as good as a bat’s vision. My older brother affectionately calls me  “the naked gun”. If you have seen that movie you know that the main character is hopelessly oblivious to what is going on in his surroundings. That is aspergers in a nutshell, if you are an aspie you are really in your own world. All the things I mentioned combined make for some interesting interactions with other people to say the least. This is not to say that you are completely hopeless if you have aspergers but you are if you aren’t aware of it. Self awareness is your best friend if you are an aspie and can help you appear less weird. I feel like I’m doing a lot better now that I’ve been diagnosed and am aware of all my faults and foibles but I was blissfully ignorant for the first 21 years of my life ( I’m 22 now) and didn’t have a clue I was making an ass of myself on a daily basis. I will be sharing those stories with you in future blog posts, I particularly want to share stories about how aspergers affected my love life (or lack of). I sincerely hope you will enjoy reading my stories.